Hello, my name is Laurie. I am a recovering “Aha!” addict.
During most of the many years I have been “on the spiritual path”, I looked forward to those “Aha!” moments, collected them, treasured them.
I signed up for courses seeking them, spent weekends doing shamanic journeys, communed with nature barefoot…
For many years I invested myself in becoming a Reiki master, a flower essence practitioner, a Medium, a dabbler in essential oils, etc, so that I would have a thing to share, to teach, and something I could point to and say, “I am this thing!”
All for the thrill, the rush of an insight high.
And then, gradually, I stopped caring what were cool and enlightened things to do because they were not feeding me as consistently as I wanted, literally and figuratively. Instead I have been seeking the biggest rush of all, everyday happiness. In retrospect, I see that the last year and a half I have scaled my expectations “down” into smaller and smaller pieces, until I finally realized that the big insights are things like, “Aha! I am tired!” and, “Aha! I am bored with this task!” And it is working! I am MUCH happier.
Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to feel the rush of an “Aha!” and not a thing to be discarded, and nothing I have gone through was wrong or wasted. it was the right time for that experience and brought me to where I am now. But to finally get it that knowing myself without regard to any outside influence is so much more rewarding than any momentary insight high!
Abraham says that the “rush” we feel when we catch up to ourselves is fun, but the real idea is to stay close enough so that you are not feeling the rush. I finally understand. For me, that rush was not so much enlightenment as overwhelm, but I never stayed there long enough to recognize it. Now I am staying there long enough to feel that it is all normal.