More about effortlessness

In studying the Law Of Attraction, we learn that the LOA is matching our feeling state. What I see so often is people trying to adjust their feeling state to achieve what they want. This is, actually, backwards. What we need to understand is that achieving a comfortable feeling state is our GOAL! THEN when the LOA matches you get the stuff and the circumstances that you want without aiming for them, without dictating how they will look or arrive, without expending any energy on them at all, purely and simply ALLOWING the LOA to provide the highest possible expression of stuff and circumstances that match our feeling state.
We are confused because we think what we want is stuff and circumstances, bur as Abraham points out, “Everything you want, you want because you think that in the having of it you will feel good.”

Feeling good is the shortcut to manifesting everything you want in it’s highest expression. Appreciate what you have now, find the best of what IS, look forward with eagerness to what is coming, daydream your desires because it feels good… and relax. It is coming to you as fast as you can feel it already in doing that.

The Next Step

So you have learned what you don”t want, sometimes painfully and sometimes hilariously, but it is clear to you. Abraham makes the point that this clarity is what contrast has to offer you, “If you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want”.
Well, yes and no.
At some level you do “know” what you want, but at the moment of recognizing what you don’t want, it is only as clear as “Not This”, which to the LOA looks like “Yes, more please” (in case you have forgotten, this is because as long as you pay att/energy to it, you are broadcasting the vibration of it and thereby calling more to your experience).
Once you recognize that you are continuing to energize what you don’t want in this fashion, you are faced with the untaught skill of identifying what you do want.To illustrate, allow me to use a personal example.
One day a few years ago, I was vacuuming and I was angry about it. I was muttering in my mind chatter about how it was unfair that I always had to do this, why didn’t anyone else see the need or take the responsibility, etc. Suddenly I realized that I was focusing on the “unwanted” aspect, so I stopped and thought, “Ok, what DO I want?” At first, I used my fall-back technique of asking what is the opposite of what I didn’t want. This wasn’t all that helpful as the opposite of not wanting to vacuum was wanting to vacuum.
Then I tried finding the feeling that was upsetting me. Resentment. AHA!
Ok, what did I want to feel Instead? This was not so easy to define, resentment is a pretty generalized feeling. I had to “try on” a few statements to hone in on it. “I feel like no one even sees what I do, that I am invisible, that the value I have is ignored.” Yep. That was it. It felt liberating to say it, and the feeling of resentment began to subside.
Appreciated. I wanted to get credit for vacuuming. Well, that was easy enough, actually. I made a big sign on the whiteboard to that effect. Even if no one else noticed, I felt good when I read it. (Proof that I don’t need external validation to feel better.)
Unsurprisingly, this happened another time when I was vacuuming, but when I thought of publicizing my accomplishment it didn’t solve the issue for me. Again I identified the feeling which this time was that I wanted help. Then, the NEXT time this came up, the answer that I wanted was to have someone else do it, to not be the only one responsible for doing it!
It rather surprised me at first that the same problem could have a different desired outcome EACH TIME. In retrospect, that makes sense, whether it is a case of refining my desired outcome or simply a reflection of the particular circumstances of the moment.
The point is that I would never have gotten relief from the feeling of resentment, much less understood the potential for a variety of desired outcomes if I had not tried to find what I DID want instead of focusing on what I didn’t.
In order to do THAT, I had to find the subtleties of the vibration I was offering and I knew when I had done so by the feeling of relief I got when I finally stumbled across the right words.
In summary, then, the more you know (in detail) what you don’t want, the more you know (in detail) what you do want.
You can find that detail while you are complaining, or you can find that detail while you are searching for relief, which is much more comfortable, because the energy of the the problem is very different from the energy of the solution.

Meow, meow, meow *

Alternate title: My complaint Becomes my Clarification.

I have always had a problem with “The Secret” because the emphasis seemed to be too much on manifestations rather than on the ability to feel good in your life.

I just read an article written by a woman whose parents raised her to understand that thought creates reality according to the Secret teachings, using affirmations. She (subconsciously) set out to create a Superbaby by doing all the right things and then had a child with a chromosomal disorder and the resulting severe disabilities, and was then disillusioned with the law of attraction as she understood it.

The key to understanding what she understood versus the Law of Attraction as Abraham-Hicks teaches it is in her use of the words “fault” and “blame”. When the guiding principle is to achieve a thought which creates a feeling of well-being (at the moment of NOW) is the basis of “thought creates reality”, there is no blame, no fault attached to whatever happens, only how you feel about it.

When you think that your conscious thoughts are creating a specific, controllable outcome or manifestation, you are destined for disappointment.

Why?

To understand this, it is necessary to understand three things.

The first is that the Law of Attraction does not match your thoughts so much as your feelings. It is not enough to say the words, “I have everything I want”, you must also convince yourself of the concept so well that you feel as if you have everything you want and behave as if you do.

Since we are complex beings with a long history of repeating the thoughts that caused us to believe that we do not have everything we want, it takes a lot of practice in a lot of circumstances to begin to shift that belief consistently enough to hold that understanding for any length of time.

I don’t say that affirmations are worthless, only that they must be constructed to achieve the feeling we are aiming for and re-constructed whenever they stop achieving that feeling.

So the first understanding is that it is the feeling that the LoA matches, the second is that we have a backlog of belief that is counter to what we truly want to believe that needs to be sorted out and shifted.

The third understanding is that we, as creators, are not limited to the consciousness that we believe inhabits the bodies we wear. We are also non-physical beings, “spirit” inextricably woven throughout and beyond our bodies. This is our eternal element. I am not sure there is a good way to put this into words but to call it spirit, soul, inner-being, God, common consciousness–all of those touch it somewhat. As such, there is always an element of that consciousness’ creative direction in what manifests in our lives. It is my belief/understanding that that consciousness is communal, that we are One.

To return for a moment to the article I referred to, consider that the child born with chromosomal anomalies has chosen, on this non-physical level, to experience the life she has been born into. Not only she has, but her mother has agreed to it on that same level of non-physicality, they have “contracted” to experience  this together.  This experience includes the mother’s disenchantment with the path of the “Secret” and her subsequent choosing to follow Pema Chodron’s Buddhism.  The thing I find interesting about this is that the Mom has chosen a set of thoughts which create a feeling of well-being. Now where have I heard that before…

One of the things that appeals to me so much about the LoA as Abraham teaches it is that nothing is wrong. Choosing a thought that feels good, feels good, choosing a thought that doesn’t feel good shows you ever more clearly over time what you want to feel instead. Feelings just ARE, free yourself to feel without blaming yourself for feeling it, or for thinking what you thought to get there. The goal is to expand yourself, to grow, and to feel as good about it as you can at any given moment.
I have everything I want right now because I have the ability to choose a thought that feels better as soon as I decide I want to, and because I know that being dissatisfied (wanting more and better than having what I have) means I always have something to look forward to.

* When I was a child my mother would say this when we complained about inconsequentials.

The “Aha!” Junkie

Hello, my name is Laurie. I am a recovering “Aha!” addict.
During most of the many years I have been “on the spiritual path”, I looked forward to those “Aha!” moments, collected them, treasured them.
I signed up for courses seeking them, spent weekends doing shamanic journeys, communed with nature barefoot…

For many years I invested myself in becoming a Reiki master, a flower essence practitioner, a Medium, a dabbler in essential oils, etc, so that I would have a thing to share, to teach, and something I could point to and say, “I am this thing!”

All for the thrill, the rush of an insight high.

And then, gradually, I stopped caring what were cool and enlightened things to do because they were not feeding me as consistently as I wanted, literally and figuratively. Instead I have been seeking the biggest rush of all, everyday happiness. In retrospect, I see that the last year and a half I have scaled my expectations “down” into smaller and smaller pieces, until I finally realized that the big insights are things like, “Aha! I am tired!” and, “Aha! I am bored with this task!” And it is working! I am MUCH happier.

Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to feel the rush of an “Aha!” and not a thing to be discarded, and nothing I have gone through was wrong or wasted. it was the right time for that experience and brought me to where I am now. But to finally get it that knowing myself without regard to any outside influence is so much more rewarding than any momentary insight high!

Abraham says that the “rush” we feel when we catch up to ourselves is fun, but the real idea is to stay close enough so that you are not feeling the rush. I finally understand. For me, that rush was not so much enlightenment as overwhelm, but I never stayed there long enough to recognize it. Now I am staying there long enough to feel that it is all normal.

“We’ve Got You” Abraham

Last night my sister sent me an Abraham snippet entitled “Until the path is blatantly obvious, there is nothing for you to do”. I thought that would be good to hear, so I tried playing it. Twice. All I heard was blah, blah, blah. You know like when you read and re-read a paragraph and then realize you have no idea what it said?
Yeah, like that.
This morning as I was redirecting my attention from an unwanted scenario I was finding it “sticky”, my mind kept slipping back to it. Even when I was actively considering something else, I could feel it hovering in the wings.

I remembered Abe saying not to be afraid of our thoughts, and that distracted me enough to leave the other behind. I thought, “If we are determining our vibration from what we focus upon, why shouldn’t certain thoughts naturally activate some fear?”

And then I thought about the scenario I had been contemplating and realized that there are billions of people in that circumstance (who wear glasses) and that thing almost never happens to any of us.

Suddenly I got an image of myself as a little speck upon a huge, well, it looked like a blob, lol, but it was an image of me compared to my higher self/inner being. I realized that both parts are affecting the LOA, pulling as it were, and the “blob” of my non-physical self is exerting so much more “pull” than I am, and ALL POSITIVE.

THAT is the river of well-being Abraham describes, the ocean, the universe, the eternity, the all-that-is-ness of well being. I saw myself sitting in the “hand of God” and really understood that if I did nothing, thought nothing, that I would be carried in that hand, by that river, towards everything that I desire.

But I don’t want to do nothing and think nothing. Few of us do. But if I understand that since the LOA is delivering all that I desire to my non-physical self (and therefore mostly in non-physical form) if I were to be looking at all times for the ways it is manifesting in my life (which will be in those places where I am not holding it away with my resistance to the flow) then I will begin to see it and make it manifest in greater abundance or real-ize it, as Abe says.

But even better, if I can just relax enough to stop struggling most of the time, the current will carry me along. And when I get better at relaxing and things are showing up for me, then I will feel like looking for all the good in my life and it won’t feel like “efforting”.

This is why and how it can be effortless.
Thanks Kath, your Abe snippet did the job without me even hearing it. smile emoticon

In Your Power

Being in your power means knowing yourself. More importantly it means trusting that you do; that you will know whether you like a thing or don’t, or that you will figure it out over time; that you can trust that your ideas and feelings are giving you good information and you can spend NO time second guessing it.  this is how life becomes effortless.

To recapitulate:

Step One-  You know who you are moment by moment by recognizing how you are feeling and whether you want to feel that way or you don’t.

Step Two- Trust that those feelings are the best guidance you can have.  Don’t waste your energy on second-guessing yourself, just soothe those voices that say, “But what if…” by reminding them that you will know as clearly at the next moment as you do now and that at any given moment your paths are few and easy to choose among.

If you do not feel a clear impulse one way or another (“But i don’t know what I want!”),  rejoice, because this is one of those times when you can choose anything and the experience will show you!

Repeat until you feel yourself becoming shiny and manageable.

P.S.  Flower essences, meditation, nature and creativity will all help you to feel better while you are working out how to pay attention to what you are feeling moment by moment.

 

Divine discontent

A perfect example of Divine discontent is the desire of a woman in late pregnancy to just give birth and “get this over, already”.  It is the proper maturation of the experience at just the right time to make a necessary transition.  She is in tune with the process, she is in tune with the child within her.

Springtime is another good example.  When the sun begins to return, our hearts are lifted and we begin to anticipate the end of the cold weather.  By the time nice weather rolls around we are energized, primed for the growth that is happening all around us to take root within us.  It is a time to consciously allow the expansion that is “in the air”.

There are many times in our lives when we feel Divine discontent, and it is important to understand the role that it plays. Do we need to distinguish this feeling of having outgrown our situation from the discontent that arises from putting our attention on what we don’t want, that thing that Abraham calls “beating the drum of unwanted”?  How do you tell one from the other? Is there a difference? Good question.  This is the place where discernment is the best tool.

Discernment is the ability to monitor yourself:  your thoughts, your feelings, your intuition, your bodily reactions and to “test drive” potential solutions.  How does it feel to think about doing x solution or y solution?  I recently had the opportunity to consider moving to the nearest “big city” and live with or nearer to some of my children (who are truly my best friends).  At first the idea filled me with such a feeling of joy, I caught fire with the idea.  The thought of living in a place where so many interesting things were happening, where there was likely to be a group of people more on my wavelength, where there were multiple coffee shops within walking distance! LOL!

Yet after a few hours thought about logistics, I began to realize (discernment) that what excited me the most was really the sense of freedom from what I was living, and THAT was something I really wanted to accomplish without giving up what I already had.  So I began to look at what would help me to feel better right here, right now.  For inspiration, I looked at the whiteboard on my fridge which holds some of my favorite bits of Abraham advice.

“Appreciate what you have.

Look forward with eagerness  to what is coming.

DO what you look forward to.

Relax about it.”

As I thought about what I look forward to, I realized that most of what was on my list were tasks!

  • Figure out how to earn enough money to support my house alone.
  • Get skinny.
  • Finish painting the downstairs.

Geez, no wonder I felt dispirited, de-energized and trapped.  Where was “Go to Scotland”?  “Meet interesting people”?  “Really enjoy being in my body”?  Of these three, I could be doing two of them right now!  I had plainly been “beating the drum” of  “I don’t have enough money”. “I’m not good enough” and “I have to finish what I start”.  Taking a step back gave me the opportunity to see these things differently, and to recognize and try on some directions to see where I would rather go.

It is fair to say that in any case of unhappiness, some of it has arisen from “beating the drum” or habitually putting one’s attention on the aspects of a situation that are not what we want.  It is also fair to say that some of it is Divine discontent, meaning that at some level of our Being it is time to move on and grow.  Discernment, the ability to read your feeling signals  and be honest with yourself about what you truly want (even if you think you “shouldn’t” want that) is the tool that will allow you to make sense of what is going on and what you feel like doing about it.

Since there is an element of both kinds of discontent in any unhappiness, it serves to see it all as Divine discontent.  In this context it is natural, it is right, for us to find the gift of understanding and use it to nurture our true desires.

 

 

The Nemesis Teacher

What is a nemesis teacher?  A person or thing which brings out in  you that which you don’t like.   Politicians and celebrities are often the vectors for this (no, I am really not just talking about Scott Walker or Rush Limbaugh).  They seem to embody, or at least espouse, those things that you feel are “wrong”.    They are people or experiences that you do not want to include in your personal reality.  They also have a way of being insistent enough to grab your attention!

Now you know that to put your attention on them simply gives them more power to disrupt your balance, but it seems impossible not to pay attention, so what do you do?  It behooves me at this point to put out a reminder that it is far easier (Really!  Or at least it will be) and more beneficial to distract yourself with something that you already feel good about, but that takes a lot of practice.  Meanwhile, find something to be grateful to your Nemesis Teacher for.  Really.

For example, that politician has powerfully drawn people’s attention to how the democratic process should work, what accountability should look like, what integrity really means.  That celebrity has caused us to value what he has put down with his name-calling tactics, has given us the opportunity to play with it in a humorous fashion.  It has pointed up what we really want by comparison to what we don’t want.

I used to tell my kids that if you really can’t find any other reason to be grateful to a nemesis teacher, tell yourself, “I’m so glad I’m not you!” (over time this has morphed into, “I’m so glad I am who I am”, but the other version has more punch because it tickles your funny bone.  Sometimes there’s a lot of relief to be had in being kinda mean in private!)

The Nemesis Teacher can be a person or an experience (being locked out of the house with the groceries and a busy agenda, for example) and it is what Abraham refers to as “contrast”.   The word “contrast” is a non-judgmental way of looking at it and points up the fact that it is  a contrast to what you want, thereby gently suggesting that inherent in the situation is an understanding of what you DO want.

So, if you are locked out of the house with the groceries and a to do list as long as your arm, what good does it do you to know that what you really want is to get inside and do your stuff?  Well, I admit that this part is kinda tricky.  The truth is that you need to identify the bit about what you want to feel, not the circumstances.  What you can’t change IS, so set about changing what you can change–your feelings about it.

“So, I’ve done what I can to get someone with a key to let me in.  Now how can I make this an experience I’m OK with?  It’s cold enough to keep the groceries from spoiling, yet warm enough that I won’t freeze.  If I wanted to, I could probably get invited into a neighbors for awhile if I do get too cold.  Wouldn’t it be nice if someone with a key comes faster than I expect.  The sky show is pretty amazing, and anything I wanted to do will still be there to do when I get to it.  This will be funny later.   It’s a little bit funny now. Every thing will be okay. ”

Who’s happier, Pooh or Eeyore?  It’s up to you which one you choose to spend your time and energy to be.

 

Trust Yourself

You and you alone are the best judge of what is right for you.  Pardon me,  I meant “Right”, because it also includes what is “True”.  For you.  My friend Coffee Lady and I have agreed to disagree about whether there actually is such a thing as ‘objective reality’, but each of us is convinced of the Truth of the matter :)  But that’s another post for another time.  This post is about how each of us, as a vibrational being, is perfectly suited to interpret the vibrations around us and choose the ones that are right for us.

To paraphrase Abraham (and to misquote Madonna at the same time!):

  “We are living in a vibrational world,

   and I am a Vibrational Girl”

We have eyes to interpret light waves, ears to interpret sound waves, taste and smell for volatile/excited food particles , etc.  We also have emotions which are the sense ‘organ’ for detecting how well we are in alignment with our larger selves.  This ability has gone largely uncredited, even scorned for the role it plays.  Growing up, did you ever have the temerity to tell your parents or teachers that you didn’t do what they expected of you because you didn’t feel like it? How many times  did you repeat that technique? :)

Over time, you learned to ignore as much as possible what your emotions were telling you, and to use standard, socially acceptable templates to choose what you could and could not “get away with”.  You probably learned how to feign illness (which after chronic success became real illness), how to disappear when chores awaited, how to sweet-talk or manipulate a delay or compromise, etc.   All the while, this valuable guidance system either earned less and less attention or had to become VERY LOUD in order for you to give it credit.

Ironically, people who felt very strongly that they should not get on that airplane that crashed are lauded as either psychic or “protected” by angels or such, when in fact it was their own emotional guidance system doing its job.  It should be noted, however, that someone who was really in touch with this emotional guidance would probably have gotten the message long before they got to the airport.

In the process of re-learning to follow our emotional guidance, it is important to take it in stages.  Very few people could tolerate the fear engendered by telling their boss that they are not inspired to come in to work today, or tolerate the rapid change in their employment status, either.   So, taking it stepwise is perfect.  Do what you “feel like” on your off time. Practice changing your feeling about going to work, although this is tricky, because you have to actually feel better, not just come up with words that sound good (a common issue).

It is also important to recognize the difference between “I want” and “I feel like”.  I discovered that I was saying, “I want to clean the house” when I absolutely didn’t feel like cleaning.  What I was feeling was, “I want this house clean because then it would be okay for me to take a nap” which is what I actually felt like.  If this sounds complicated, that is only because most of us have built up our resistance to pleasing ourselves in many ways over the years.  It takes some time to peel back the layers, bit by bit.  But you have the tool if you will only begin to learn how to use it.

So if you can trust your nose to tell you what is going to be delicious, your balance to keep you upright, your eyes to find your keys… you can trust your feelings to guide you in more esoteric ways.  Like the bumper sticker says, “If it feels good, do it!”.

10 ways to say “I don’t FEEL like it”

Sometimes we have occasion to answer to others why we are making the choice  to do what we feel like, sometimes instead of what they want or instead of what is socially acceptable. Here are 10 ways:

1-Nope

2- I am not inspired/ impulsed to do that

3-That doesn’t feel right

4-I can’t be arsed

5-I’m not available for that

6-I don’t think so

7-I’m just not drawn/attracted to that

8-I don’t feel like it

9-That’s not how I want to spend my time/energy/money/life

10-

Number 10 has been left blank intentionally, because there are times when no response is the best response.  There are many ways to make no response;  you can simply be silent  (which speaks volumes), you can change the subject (sometimes repeatedly), you can give a pseudo answer (so that they don’t know that you haven’t answered them.  This is an art for quick-thinking individuals and authors.)

Back in the day, when my regional sales manager would call to get my sales numbers, and I didn’t want to admit to a bad week, I would answer, “No speak Engrish!”  Not surprisingly, he quickly figured out what that meant anyway…

By now, I hope you understand the importance of honoring your inspirations/impulses.  As you hold a vibration of doing what feels good, so you are creating a manifestation of the things you want that feel good.  So what can be gained from following your desire to say no or to not answer?

1) Clarity.  For you, because you have evaluated and made your decision and do not have to make it palatable to anyone else.  For the other person/people involved, because without your input they must rely on their own knowledge and feelings to make the decision about the next step, therefore you afford them the opportunity to achieve clarity for themselves.  Keep in mind that not everyone appreciates this opportunity, because few people are accustomed to it, or to owning their own power.  That, however, is their business and none of yours.

2) Power.  Anytime you are true to yourself and feel satisfied, you are taking back your power, because your thoughts and feelings  are the only things that are truly, completely yours to control.  When you allow “shoulds” to rule you, you are allowing the tapes in your head to have your power, and it does not feel good.  Even if you might choose that action/thought of your own free will, it must be chosen for your own reasons, not simply because it is expected by some outside authority for you to be considered as “good enough”.

Remember: 

Selfish is what you are called when you are not doing what someone else wants you to.