Meow, meow, meow *

Alternate title: My complaint Becomes my Clarification.

I have always had a problem with “The Secret” because the emphasis seemed to be too much on manifestations rather than on the ability to feel good in your life.

I just read an article written by a woman whose parents raised her to understand that thought creates reality according to the Secret teachings, using affirmations. She (subconsciously) set out to create a Superbaby by doing all the right things and then had a child with a chromosomal disorder and the resulting severe disabilities, and was then disillusioned with the law of attraction as she understood it.

The key to understanding what she understood versus the Law of Attraction as Abraham-Hicks teaches it is in her use of the words “fault” and “blame”. When the guiding principle is to achieve a thought which creates a feeling of well-being (at the moment of NOW) is the basis of “thought creates reality”, there is no blame, no fault attached to whatever happens, only how you feel about it.

When you think that your conscious thoughts are creating a specific, controllable outcome or manifestation, you are destined for disappointment.

Why?

To understand this, it is necessary to understand three things.

The first is that the Law of Attraction does not match your thoughts so much as your feelings. It is not enough to say the words, “I have everything I want”, you must also convince yourself of the concept so well that you feel as if you have everything you want and behave as if you do.

Since we are complex beings with a long history of repeating the thoughts that caused us to believe that we do not have everything we want, it takes a lot of practice in a lot of circumstances to begin to shift that belief consistently enough to hold that understanding for any length of time.

I don’t say that affirmations are worthless, only that they must be constructed to achieve the feeling we are aiming for and re-constructed whenever they stop achieving that feeling.

So the first understanding is that it is the feeling that the LoA matches, the second is that we have a backlog of belief that is counter to what we truly want to believe that needs to be sorted out and shifted.

The third understanding is that we, as creators, are not limited to the consciousness that we believe inhabits the bodies we wear. We are also non-physical beings, “spirit” inextricably woven throughout and beyond our bodies. This is our eternal element. I am not sure there is a good way to put this into words but to call it spirit, soul, inner-being, God, common consciousness–all of those touch it somewhat. As such, there is always an element of that consciousness’ creative direction in what manifests in our lives. It is my belief/understanding that that consciousness is communal, that we are One.

To return for a moment to the article I referred to, consider that the child born with chromosomal anomalies has chosen, on this non-physical level, to experience the life she has been born into. Not only she has, but her mother has agreed to it on that same level of non-physicality, they have “contracted” to experience  this together.  This experience includes the mother’s disenchantment with the path of the “Secret” and her subsequent choosing to follow Pema Chodron’s Buddhism.  The thing I find interesting about this is that the Mom has chosen a set of thoughts which create a feeling of well-being. Now where have I heard that before…

One of the things that appeals to me so much about the LoA as Abraham teaches it is that nothing is wrong. Choosing a thought that feels good, feels good, choosing a thought that doesn’t feel good shows you ever more clearly over time what you want to feel instead. Feelings just ARE, free yourself to feel without blaming yourself for feeling it, or for thinking what you thought to get there. The goal is to expand yourself, to grow, and to feel as good about it as you can at any given moment.
I have everything I want right now because I have the ability to choose a thought that feels better as soon as I decide I want to, and because I know that being dissatisfied (wanting more and better than having what I have) means I always have something to look forward to.

* When I was a child my mother would say this when we complained about inconsequentials.

The Green Bubble

Several years ago, I was facing a conundrum.  I knew that all problems responded to love, and I wanted to be loving, but there were some things (people, circumstances) I just could not seem to find anything positive about, or think about without feeling very negative feelings.  So I asked my Invisible friends for help in coping with this issue.  Between us, we came up with the Green Bubble.

I had read about putting your troubles in a pink bubble and visualizing them floating up to be healed by God or the angels, but that didn’t feel satisfying to me.  I wanted to feel more active in the healing.  So I made a covenant with the universe that when I felt that way, I would mentally put that person or situation in a green bubble (green has not only signified to me the heart chakra, but also healing and growth) and that was the signal of my desire for all the love of the universe to be shined on it.

Did it help?  Well, I certainly felt better!

I used it in connection with a neighbor kid who has been troubled since his youth (he is now a young adult) any time I saw or heard him screaming filthy insults to his mom or his “friends”.  Instead of condemning him for his behavior, I carefully put him in a bubble, confident that he would receive the love that he needed.  Pretty soon I heard him telling another neighbor that he was going into an anger management program.  Not too long after that, my husband saw him in a store and told me what a nice, thoughtful young man he was.

Little by little , I saw him become happy and outgoing, even a little vulnerable, which he had never previously been able to afford to be.  Do I think my green bubble healed him?  Not completely.  He made peace with his demons by his own choosing.   I do believe my bubble helped him energetically both by the power of my intention ( in a quantum world, invisible forces  have strength) as well as by my withdrawal of negative judgement of him.  In addition, it helped me be open to seeing positive changes in him, as well as in my own life being able to let go of something that I had spent my energy feeling negative about.  Win, win, win.

More recently I have come to understand that what I have the hardest time loving in someone else is what I don’t love about myself in some fashion.  Because I am too close to the situation, it is almost impossible to see the connection, the mirror lesson.  In these cases, I put that part of myself in a green bubble ( I simply say:  “the part of myself which is in need of healing in this situation”), and usually the other person in a different one (because I still don’t want to be that close… :) ).   It’s hard to say how much of the effects I notice are from that particular strategy, but it is one more tool in the toolbox to let go and to feel better.

inner dialogue

I shared a Facebook post complaining about some subject and the unfairness with which it was being treated, probably by a governmental institution (?).  Honestly, I don’t remember the subject, but I remember that it twanged a note of victimhood in me at the time.  Very quickly I became uncomfortable with having shared it.
I wouldn’t even have posted this in my blog but for the fact that as I was looking at the draft, I managed to hit the right buttons to share it.  I am leaving it up because I took that a sign…

 

  • Tree at Large Since I posted this I have been a having a little internal dialogue about it.
    Self: If I am, as I believe, the creator of my own reality, through my intention, thoughts, feelings and focus of attention, then why would I subscribe to and propagate the fearfulness embodied in this statement?
  • Tree at Large Other part of Self: Well, it could have been said better, but since it caught my eye, I know that there is something in it for me to evaluate that reflects some belief of mine. I think it stimulated the part of me that wants complete freedom. Sometimes I think that I don’t have complete freedom.
  • Tree at Large S: Complete freedom would include the agencies above having complete freedom as well, right? And the protection of that freedom you want would be assured by the power of your focused thought, right?
  • Tree at Large OPoS: Hmmm, yes, I think so. So I guess this was sort of a pre-emptive strike against interference in my freedom. Which is rather a chip on my shoulder, making the assumption that the enemy IS there to take a shot at it.
  • Tree at Large Self: So what do we do about it? Take it down or let it stand?
  • Tree at Large OPoS: It doesn’t really matter, if I can make peace with the issue it raised. If this statement and it’s assumptions were a jar of capers, it would not get in my apple pie unless I put it there by focusing my attention on it.
  • Tree at Large OPoS: Besides I can always decide to take it down. New choices are always available.

The Basics/ The Whole Story

There is no one in the universe that has the power to control my feelings, except me.

There is no one in the universe who has the power to control my thoughts, except me.

There is no one in the universe who has the power to control my intention, except me.

Therefore, there is no one in the universe who has the power to control the way I experience my life, my reality, except me.

And in exerting my power to choose I choose to select thoughts which support feeling good and loving myself and my life.

In choosing to see the love and the power and the gifts within myself, I am choosing to see the love and the power and the gifts of this planet and all that share in it; people, animals, plants, insects, elements and spirits.

In choosing to see and celebrate the health and well-being of, the growth and the evolution in myself and my life, I am choosing to see the health and well-being, the growth and evolution of the times, the ecology and this moment of evolution.

In exerting my power of choice to feel good, I choose to become a channel of the Source of all love and well-being, of all gifts and comfort.

I choose to see in others what strength and beauty and value they have forgotten or discounted in themselves during the play that they are enacting at the moment.

I choose to see their eternal selves and the perspective that brings.

I choose to embrace all of this to bring myself aliveness and joy, which cannot but overflow and change the world by making itself available more and more, one person by one person.

I believe it is true that the microcosm reflects the macrocosm, or as it is often said, “As above, so below: as within, so without”.  Our choices to feel good and be powerful nourish the physical world by improving who we are and what we have to offer.

 

 

The Nemesis Teacher

What is a nemesis teacher?  A person or thing which brings out in  you that which you don’t like.   Politicians and celebrities are often the vectors for this (no, I am really not just talking about Scott Walker or Rush Limbaugh).  They seem to embody, or at least espouse, those things that you feel are “wrong”.    They are people or experiences that you do not want to include in your personal reality.  They also have a way of being insistent enough to grab your attention!

Now you know that to put your attention on them simply gives them more power to disrupt your balance, but it seems impossible not to pay attention, so what do you do?  It behooves me at this point to put out a reminder that it is far easier (Really!  Or at least it will be) and more beneficial to distract yourself with something that you already feel good about, but that takes a lot of practice.  Meanwhile, find something to be grateful to your Nemesis Teacher for.  Really.

For example, that politician has powerfully drawn people’s attention to how the democratic process should work, what accountability should look like, what integrity really means.  That celebrity has caused us to value what he has put down with his name-calling tactics, has given us the opportunity to play with it in a humorous fashion.  It has pointed up what we really want by comparison to what we don’t want.

I used to tell my kids that if you really can’t find any other reason to be grateful to a nemesis teacher, tell yourself, “I’m so glad I’m not you!” (over time this has morphed into, “I’m so glad I am who I am”, but the other version has more punch because it tickles your funny bone.  Sometimes there’s a lot of relief to be had in being kinda mean in private!)

The Nemesis Teacher can be a person or an experience (being locked out of the house with the groceries and a busy agenda, for example) and it is what Abraham refers to as “contrast”.   The word “contrast” is a non-judgmental way of looking at it and points up the fact that it is  a contrast to what you want, thereby gently suggesting that inherent in the situation is an understanding of what you DO want.

So, if you are locked out of the house with the groceries and a to do list as long as your arm, what good does it do you to know that what you really want is to get inside and do your stuff?  Well, I admit that this part is kinda tricky.  The truth is that you need to identify the bit about what you want to feel, not the circumstances.  What you can’t change IS, so set about changing what you can change–your feelings about it.

“So, I’ve done what I can to get someone with a key to let me in.  Now how can I make this an experience I’m OK with?  It’s cold enough to keep the groceries from spoiling, yet warm enough that I won’t freeze.  If I wanted to, I could probably get invited into a neighbors for awhile if I do get too cold.  Wouldn’t it be nice if someone with a key comes faster than I expect.  The sky show is pretty amazing, and anything I wanted to do will still be there to do when I get to it.  This will be funny later.   It’s a little bit funny now. Every thing will be okay. ”

Who’s happier, Pooh or Eeyore?  It’s up to you which one you choose to spend your time and energy to be.

 

Love the Commonplace

Something we have learned well, and we can see this clearly when we look at the media, is to put our attention on what is topical.  What big thing is garnering all of our attention today, this week, this month?  I have never seen the Nightly News come right out and say, “People all over the world are still loving each other the best way they know how, today” or “98.5% of children under 3 learned half a dozen useful skills this morning and can be expected to do it again tomorrow”. The media would tell us that is not ‘news’.  That is commonplace.

Politicians are corrupt, corporations are soulless, life is unfair to the common man, disease is rampant, etc.  Sorry, but none of this is new.  Also, none of this is or ever has been universal: not all politicians are corrupt, not all corporations are soulless, each and every one of us, common or uncommon has choices, and health is also rampant.  So why, after millenia are we still considering this viewpoint as worthy of our attention?  Simple.  It is a practiced habit.

We tend to pay attention to topical issues, both as a population and as individuals.  However, the ability to go back over your assumptions and those choices that were made before is a very important tool in changing a habit!  Ask yourself what benefit you get from paying attention to the negatives.  I can think of 2 offhand:

1) It points out the positive direction by contrast (if I don’t want pain, I do want comfort).

2) It feels so good when you stop (paying attention to the negatives).

It is a basic LoA principle that what you pay attention to grows larger, and that you can’t magnetize what you DO want by focusing on what you DON’T want.  To attract it, you must already see yourself having it.  Since this is kinda tough, especially in the beginning, I have a suggestion.  Train yourself out of the habit of focusing on what you don’t want by training yourself to disregard topical issues, social and private.  Start with the ones that are outside your direct control, for example what you see in the media. Replace those thoughts with the ways you have what you want.  Despite what the media says, I have a job, a house, a car, etc.   HINT: Allow yourself to speak from this very moment! Do not predict that you may not have it next week, next week is not here! Match yourself NOW to what you want any time in the future.

The next suggestion is really the meat of this post: celebrate those commonplace things that are so easy to disregard because they are ‘not good enough’ to actually celebrate.  One of my daughters was miserable at one point in her teens because no one loved her.  I told her I loved her and thought she was special.  She replied, “That doesn’t count, you have to love me, you’re my mother”.  This just goes to show our ability to disregard what could be a source of comfort or celebration. Once I had a migraine and searched my entire body for a spot that didn’t hurt, so I could put my attention on it.  It was the arches of my feet.  As I focused my attention on them, not only did the pain recede from my awareness, the arches of my feet rubbing against one another became more and more deliciously comfortable.

I did this today and I felt so much better, I began to giggle. “I love the way these jeans fit, I really look forward to having all my jeans fit this well. I love having lots of clothes to choose from to stay warm.  I love the warmth and the massage of the water in the shower, and the way I feel refreshed and renewed when I get out.  I love the smell of this dill I am harvesting and this soup I am making.  I love the feeling of release I get from taking a big breath. I love the fact that I can feel better whenever I want by breathing deeply.  I love the fact that once I get started doing this, I attract more ideas of what I love….”

Give credit to your commonplace abundance, allow it to help you feel better for as long as you do it, and practice this habit.  You will find the harder issues will, little by little, get easier.

10 ways to say “I don’t FEEL like it”

Sometimes we have occasion to answer to others why we are making the choice  to do what we feel like, sometimes instead of what they want or instead of what is socially acceptable. Here are 10 ways:

1-Nope

2- I am not inspired/ impulsed to do that

3-That doesn’t feel right

4-I can’t be arsed

5-I’m not available for that

6-I don’t think so

7-I’m just not drawn/attracted to that

8-I don’t feel like it

9-That’s not how I want to spend my time/energy/money/life

10-

Number 10 has been left blank intentionally, because there are times when no response is the best response.  There are many ways to make no response;  you can simply be silent  (which speaks volumes), you can change the subject (sometimes repeatedly), you can give a pseudo answer (so that they don’t know that you haven’t answered them.  This is an art for quick-thinking individuals and authors.)

Back in the day, when my regional sales manager would call to get my sales numbers, and I didn’t want to admit to a bad week, I would answer, “No speak Engrish!”  Not surprisingly, he quickly figured out what that meant anyway…

By now, I hope you understand the importance of honoring your inspirations/impulses.  As you hold a vibration of doing what feels good, so you are creating a manifestation of the things you want that feel good.  So what can be gained from following your desire to say no or to not answer?

1) Clarity.  For you, because you have evaluated and made your decision and do not have to make it palatable to anyone else.  For the other person/people involved, because without your input they must rely on their own knowledge and feelings to make the decision about the next step, therefore you afford them the opportunity to achieve clarity for themselves.  Keep in mind that not everyone appreciates this opportunity, because few people are accustomed to it, or to owning their own power.  That, however, is their business and none of yours.

2) Power.  Anytime you are true to yourself and feel satisfied, you are taking back your power, because your thoughts and feelings  are the only things that are truly, completely yours to control.  When you allow “shoulds” to rule you, you are allowing the tapes in your head to have your power, and it does not feel good.  Even if you might choose that action/thought of your own free will, it must be chosen for your own reasons, not simply because it is expected by some outside authority for you to be considered as “good enough”.

Remember: 

Selfish is what you are called when you are not doing what someone else wants you to.

Why be vibrationally available?

Abraham tells us  that we are always creators, that we create by default until we focus on creating by deliberate choice.  How do we create deliberately?  By recognizing the vibrational frequency we are broadcasting and learning to alter it to align with what we want.  This sounds hard, yes?  Incomprehensible even, yes?  Well, in the beginning it sometimes feels like it, but it isn’t so hard and you already do it at times.  Let’s look at some examples.

Everyone has, at some time, misplaced their keys/checkbook/whatever and searched for it with increasing degrees of frantic desperation.  Later, you find it in the place you checked 3 times!  What happened was a case of vibrational unavailability.  You are heading out the door and reach for the keys…which aren’t where you expect them to be.  A thought something like, “Oh no, I don’t have time for this” comes up.  While you think you are looking for your keys, you are actually focused on the idea that your keys are missing!  This is a very different vibration.

Try it.  Say aloud, “I can’t find my keys!” or , “I’ve lost my keys!”

 

Now say, “I am finding my keys!”   Did you feel the difference?

If you felt the difference, congratulate yourself, because that shows you are vibrationally discerning.  If you didn’t feel it, don’t worry, it doesn’t take much practice to learn.  Even just being open to noticing those feelings will increase your ability.  In fact, there are already times when you say something and it strikes you as “incorrect” or “not quite right” and you search for a better way to say it.  At that time you are being vibrationally discerning by matching the feel of the words with the feel of your meaning.

OK, so when you searched the place where your keys will be found later, you were focused on not being able to find them, therefore you didn’t find them.  See what a powerful creator you are?  They were right there all the time and you just didn’t see them.  Now what about all the other things which you think you want and don’t have?  How many ways are you offering a vibrational frequency that prevents you from seeing that what you want is right there?

Let’s say you want lots of money (because who doesn’t?).  Ask yourself what having lots of money would give you.  Freedom?  Security? Opportunities? Now list all the ways in which you already have those things.  At this point I must caution you that you will think of reason after reason why what you’ve listed is not good enough.  Resist the temptation!  That is what is keeping you from seeing your desires have been answered!  Next example, from my life;

Last year, the annuity income that my husband had (and was our primary income) abruptly ceased.  I wrote a description of my “perfect job” to direct my creative powers to fulfill.

1) Flexible hours allow me to maintain my home surroundings to my satisfaction, as well as provide rides to my kids as needed and to pursue my spiritual and social life to my satisfaction (ex. study group, weekly coffee with friend, etc)

2) provides an environment (physically, socially, professionally) that is comfortable, graceful, exquisitely productive, challenging yet unstressful, stimulating without being over-demanding.

3) Provides an income that exceeds my needs and desires at all times.

After 6 months of job-hunting I still had no job.  I looked at my list in disgust.   I had been perfectly clear and that was still what I wanted.  I’m not sure when I next looked, but I can tell you I was in a much better vibrational frequency because when I did, I realized that I had everything on that list!

I have been self-employed building this business.

1) My hours are flexible enough to do everything I wanted.

2) The environments I operate in (my home, the beach and the venues for Funshops) are everything I asked for.

3) While I am not yet earning the level of income I imagined, my needs and desires are met and exceeded.  I don’t know where the money will come from, but for almost a year it HAS!

It wasn’t until I looked at that list from a new perspective, made possible largely by resisting the urge to say, even in my head, that what I have isn’t good enough, that I could see that my wish had been granted.

How to be vibrationally available to what you want?  (to be continued )

Paradoxical Fun

Sometimes, when you are working on reorienting your thoughts to better-feeling ones, you hit a moment when you just can’t summon the energy/desire/motivation to “do the work”.  The first time I remember hitting this “roadblock”,  was when I was really angry about something.  It seemed, however, that whenever I tried to find a different thought, my mind went all fuzzy and there was nothing else to turn to.  I was vibrationally unavailable to any better-feeling thought.  Eventually, I gave myself up to the anger and just went with it, and when it was spent I discovered that now I felt like pivoting my thoughts.

My experience with feeling low wasn’t exactly like this, in that it didn’t blow itself out.  Instead I kept saying to myself, “This is where I am, right now and it is fine.  I accept  this, I accept exactly who I am right now, and I look forward to feeling better.”  I was surprised, actually, to find out that while I wasn’t exactly enjoying these times, they had their up side. Being angry felt powerful and a release, and provided I didn’t share it in a hurtful way with those around me, harmless.  Being bored and unproductive, while uncomfortable by being unfamiliar, had a restful aspect.

So sometimes I just wanted to be angry, sometimes I just wanted to feel sorry for myself, sometimes I just wanted to cry, etc.  Because I found some strange, non-traditional enjoyment from it, I decided to call it “paradoxical fun”.  And ever since I discovered this perspective, I’ve been able to analyze it and see how it works in a LoA paradigm.

To begin with, allowing myself to feel what I feel sends a great big “I accept and approve of myself” message to my subconscious.  I love myself warts and all, just as my Source does. That is being in alignment.

Secondly, being willing to accept even the “ugly” parts of myself, the ones that my tapes have decreed as unacceptable has allowed me to stop holding judgements against myself and see them all as just experiences.  It also means that I have no dark side to hide from.  I don’t have to fear that “you won’t like me if you really knew me” syndrome that many of us secretly fear is true.  If I can like even my dark bits, then I will be a vibrational match to people who also can.  In any event, I’ll like myself. :)  This is also being in alignment.

Thirdly, I no longer feel threatened by being stuck in an unpleasant emotion/experience.  Knowing that I can change it whenever I am ready to allows me the freedom to really experience it.  This is freedom, and also in alignment.

According to Abraham, if we hadn’t wanted to experience trials and travails we would not have incarnated.  They say that we came here for the fun of getting out of alignment in order to find our way back into alignment.  I expect that that is what I am calling “paradoxical fun”.

Now I have another wish for people, apart from “Have fun!”.  I can wish them “Have paradoxical fun!”, although I might do it in my head until I’m sure they are ready to hear it out loud…

The power of “Now”…and “Then”

You are always Here, Now.

Yesterday, 5 minutes ago and tomorrow do not exist!   Except, of course in your imagination, or as we call it when we are looking backward in time, memory.  Or else, perhaps, if indeed there are no such things as time and space, they exist concurrently with Now.

Each of these perspectives can be useful.   Now exists as your point of power, the place where you can take action.  If you cannot take action, it is not useful to waste your energy fretting about not being able to do so.  For example, it is oh-so-easy to get caught up in things that are not happening right now, and to treat them as if they were.  Are you mentally paying next month’s bills?  Or deciding if you can get that project done by your deadline?  Are you getting nervous? Why?

You don’t have to be afraid of something that isn’t happening.  In fact, if you can get a handle on your imaginings, you can assure yourself that the future that you anticipate nervously does not come to you.

If it is not time for action, what is it time for?  Pre-paving.  Segment intending.  In other words, using your imagination and your intent (because these are the tools of creation) to find good-feeling scenarios.  What you are thinking/feeling is what you are broadcasting to the LoA to match, so if it is scary, find another thought!

“I have food now, my bills are paid now, I am impeccably guided to take the right action at the right time, I know how to find the “up” side to everything that comes to me”, etc.

If you are going to think in the future, make it a good-feeling imagination, because the feelings that your imaginings about the future are bringing up within you are happening Now, being broadcast Now, being matched by the LoA in 17 seconds, in 68 seconds…

The same is true for memories, so HEAL them!  Use your pivoting skills to change the perspective, to see the other information that you weren’t aware of at the time, to give value to the experience.  If that is too hard, play “wouldn’t it have been nice” if it had happened another way.  It is not important to make it “true”, this is about changing your point of attraction in the Now!  Make it feel good Now!

This reminds me of a discussion I had with my husband a few years ago (pre-Abraham for me). He said “Create your own reality” felt overwhelming and since there are parallel universes of every description already existing (at least in potentia) he would prefer to think of it as “choosing” his own reality, thereby bypassing the process of constructing it detail by detail.  This “wouldn’t it be nice” game helped him access it through his subconscious.

Sometimes, especially with fear, it seems as if better-feeling thoughts are hiding from you.  This is a good time to use your intention.  First intend to release the physical sensation of fear, breathe deeply and remind yourself that you are not alone, you have all of Source to draw upon.  Ask for assistance.  Intend that the thoughts you want are there and they will become evident to you.  The more you relax, the more your Source is able to communicate with you, and the more positive perspectives you will think of.

Imagination and intention.  What you put your attention on grows larger and more real. It is the truth behind “Seek and ye shall find”.