The Green Bubble

Several years ago, I was facing a conundrum.  I knew that all problems responded to love, and I wanted to be loving, but there were some things (people, circumstances) I just could not seem to find anything positive about, or think about without feeling very negative feelings.  So I asked my Invisible friends for help in coping with this issue.  Between us, we came up with the Green Bubble.

I had read about putting your troubles in a pink bubble and visualizing them floating up to be healed by God or the angels, but that didn’t feel satisfying to me.  I wanted to feel more active in the healing.  So I made a covenant with the universe that when I felt that way, I would mentally put that person or situation in a green bubble (green has not only signified to me the heart chakra, but also healing and growth) and that was the signal of my desire for all the love of the universe to be shined on it.

Did it help?  Well, I certainly felt better!

I used it in connection with a neighbor kid who has been troubled since his youth (he is now a young adult) any time I saw or heard him screaming filthy insults to his mom or his “friends”.  Instead of condemning him for his behavior, I carefully put him in a bubble, confident that he would receive the love that he needed.  Pretty soon I heard him telling another neighbor that he was going into an anger management program.  Not too long after that, my husband saw him in a store and told me what a nice, thoughtful young man he was.

Little by little , I saw him become happy and outgoing, even a little vulnerable, which he had never previously been able to afford to be.  Do I think my green bubble healed him?  Not completely.  He made peace with his demons by his own choosing.   I do believe my bubble helped him energetically both by the power of my intention ( in a quantum world, invisible forces  have strength) as well as by my withdrawal of negative judgement of him.  In addition, it helped me be open to seeing positive changes in him, as well as in my own life being able to let go of something that I had spent my energy feeling negative about.  Win, win, win.

More recently I have come to understand that what I have the hardest time loving in someone else is what I don’t love about myself in some fashion.  Because I am too close to the situation, it is almost impossible to see the connection, the mirror lesson.  In these cases, I put that part of myself in a green bubble ( I simply say:  “the part of myself which is in need of healing in this situation”), and usually the other person in a different one (because I still don’t want to be that close… :) ).   It’s hard to say how much of the effects I notice are from that particular strategy, but it is one more tool in the toolbox to let go and to feel better.

The Nemesis Teacher

What is a nemesis teacher?  A person or thing which brings out in  you that which you don’t like.   Politicians and celebrities are often the vectors for this (no, I am really not just talking about Scott Walker or Rush Limbaugh).  They seem to embody, or at least espouse, those things that you feel are “wrong”.    They are people or experiences that you do not want to include in your personal reality.  They also have a way of being insistent enough to grab your attention!

Now you know that to put your attention on them simply gives them more power to disrupt your balance, but it seems impossible not to pay attention, so what do you do?  It behooves me at this point to put out a reminder that it is far easier (Really!  Or at least it will be) and more beneficial to distract yourself with something that you already feel good about, but that takes a lot of practice.  Meanwhile, find something to be grateful to your Nemesis Teacher for.  Really.

For example, that politician has powerfully drawn people’s attention to how the democratic process should work, what accountability should look like, what integrity really means.  That celebrity has caused us to value what he has put down with his name-calling tactics, has given us the opportunity to play with it in a humorous fashion.  It has pointed up what we really want by comparison to what we don’t want.

I used to tell my kids that if you really can’t find any other reason to be grateful to a nemesis teacher, tell yourself, “I’m so glad I’m not you!” (over time this has morphed into, “I’m so glad I am who I am”, but the other version has more punch because it tickles your funny bone.  Sometimes there’s a lot of relief to be had in being kinda mean in private!)

The Nemesis Teacher can be a person or an experience (being locked out of the house with the groceries and a busy agenda, for example) and it is what Abraham refers to as “contrast”.   The word “contrast” is a non-judgmental way of looking at it and points up the fact that it is  a contrast to what you want, thereby gently suggesting that inherent in the situation is an understanding of what you DO want.

So, if you are locked out of the house with the groceries and a to do list as long as your arm, what good does it do you to know that what you really want is to get inside and do your stuff?  Well, I admit that this part is kinda tricky.  The truth is that you need to identify the bit about what you want to feel, not the circumstances.  What you can’t change IS, so set about changing what you can change–your feelings about it.

“So, I’ve done what I can to get someone with a key to let me in.  Now how can I make this an experience I’m OK with?  It’s cold enough to keep the groceries from spoiling, yet warm enough that I won’t freeze.  If I wanted to, I could probably get invited into a neighbors for awhile if I do get too cold.  Wouldn’t it be nice if someone with a key comes faster than I expect.  The sky show is pretty amazing, and anything I wanted to do will still be there to do when I get to it.  This will be funny later.   It’s a little bit funny now. Every thing will be okay. ”

Who’s happier, Pooh or Eeyore?  It’s up to you which one you choose to spend your time and energy to be.

 

Poco a poco

We tend to think small changes are unimportant, insignificant.  We discount their value because it doesn’t seem like enough.   Never think so!  When changes come gradually, it gives us a chance to become accustomed to them, to try them on and make sure they fit.

When a toddler learns to jump (what a joy to watch, you’d think they were learning to fly!), they will often practice jumping with one foot first, which looks almost like stomping, but you can tell.  They find it so exciting, they stomp around and stomp around until one day-BOOM!- two feet leave the ground!  How long would it have taken to achieve two feet off the ground if they had discounted the value of one-foot jumping?

The vast majority of changes in our lives are accomplished little by little, adding up to an incremental progression.  We notice it in our children because it is so (relatively) fast, but to get a look at the changes we have wrought in ourselves, it is sometimes necessary to look back over a time period of a few months or a year to see how those incremental changes have mounted up.  I just did this and I am SO much happier on a daily basis, SO much better at managing my vibration, particularly at finding positive aspects to put my attention on.

When you do this, be sure to give yourself credit for every little bit.  If you find yourself tempted to judge something as not good enough to list, list it and then make a point of adding a reason (and make it one which feels authentic) as to why this was valuable enough to list.  I frequently make this a reason which tickles my funnybone, such as, “it brings my word count up by 25″, because when I find something funny I am in the vicinity of my best feeling times and often get swept along to even better feelings.

 

 

 

Love the Commonplace

Something we have learned well, and we can see this clearly when we look at the media, is to put our attention on what is topical.  What big thing is garnering all of our attention today, this week, this month?  I have never seen the Nightly News come right out and say, “People all over the world are still loving each other the best way they know how, today” or “98.5% of children under 3 learned half a dozen useful skills this morning and can be expected to do it again tomorrow”. The media would tell us that is not ‘news’.  That is commonplace.

Politicians are corrupt, corporations are soulless, life is unfair to the common man, disease is rampant, etc.  Sorry, but none of this is new.  Also, none of this is or ever has been universal: not all politicians are corrupt, not all corporations are soulless, each and every one of us, common or uncommon has choices, and health is also rampant.  So why, after millenia are we still considering this viewpoint as worthy of our attention?  Simple.  It is a practiced habit.

We tend to pay attention to topical issues, both as a population and as individuals.  However, the ability to go back over your assumptions and those choices that were made before is a very important tool in changing a habit!  Ask yourself what benefit you get from paying attention to the negatives.  I can think of 2 offhand:

1) It points out the positive direction by contrast (if I don’t want pain, I do want comfort).

2) It feels so good when you stop (paying attention to the negatives).

It is a basic LoA principle that what you pay attention to grows larger, and that you can’t magnetize what you DO want by focusing on what you DON’T want.  To attract it, you must already see yourself having it.  Since this is kinda tough, especially in the beginning, I have a suggestion.  Train yourself out of the habit of focusing on what you don’t want by training yourself to disregard topical issues, social and private.  Start with the ones that are outside your direct control, for example what you see in the media. Replace those thoughts with the ways you have what you want.  Despite what the media says, I have a job, a house, a car, etc.   HINT: Allow yourself to speak from this very moment! Do not predict that you may not have it next week, next week is not here! Match yourself NOW to what you want any time in the future.

The next suggestion is really the meat of this post: celebrate those commonplace things that are so easy to disregard because they are ‘not good enough’ to actually celebrate.  One of my daughters was miserable at one point in her teens because no one loved her.  I told her I loved her and thought she was special.  She replied, “That doesn’t count, you have to love me, you’re my mother”.  This just goes to show our ability to disregard what could be a source of comfort or celebration. Once I had a migraine and searched my entire body for a spot that didn’t hurt, so I could put my attention on it.  It was the arches of my feet.  As I focused my attention on them, not only did the pain recede from my awareness, the arches of my feet rubbing against one another became more and more deliciously comfortable.

I did this today and I felt so much better, I began to giggle. “I love the way these jeans fit, I really look forward to having all my jeans fit this well. I love having lots of clothes to choose from to stay warm.  I love the warmth and the massage of the water in the shower, and the way I feel refreshed and renewed when I get out.  I love the smell of this dill I am harvesting and this soup I am making.  I love the feeling of release I get from taking a big breath. I love the fact that I can feel better whenever I want by breathing deeply.  I love the fact that once I get started doing this, I attract more ideas of what I love….”

Give credit to your commonplace abundance, allow it to help you feel better for as long as you do it, and practice this habit.  You will find the harder issues will, little by little, get easier.

I am changing, blog is changing…

In the 7 months since I began this blog I have undergone numerous changes of direction, but I always tried to keep the focus of the blog in the same ballpark.  That is, I was attempting to make LoA principles understandable from a mainstream perspective.

I have recently come to understand that what I really want is a place to record the inspirations that sheet through the universe and land in my brain.  Whether anyone gets it or not.  That’s not to say that I don’t want you to get it. I do.  But it is really more about getting it out of my brain and into form, and less about “teaching” anybody anything.  I expect that, the Law of Attraction being what it is, anyone who needs/wants  to hear what I say will be attracted to it in some miraculous or mundane fashion.

Just thought I’d say it.  :)

And I am sooo not done….

10 ways to say “I don’t FEEL like it”

Sometimes we have occasion to answer to others why we are making the choice  to do what we feel like, sometimes instead of what they want or instead of what is socially acceptable. Here are 10 ways:

1-Nope

2- I am not inspired/ impulsed to do that

3-That doesn’t feel right

4-I can’t be arsed

5-I’m not available for that

6-I don’t think so

7-I’m just not drawn/attracted to that

8-I don’t feel like it

9-That’s not how I want to spend my time/energy/money/life

10-

Number 10 has been left blank intentionally, because there are times when no response is the best response.  There are many ways to make no response;  you can simply be silent  (which speaks volumes), you can change the subject (sometimes repeatedly), you can give a pseudo answer (so that they don’t know that you haven’t answered them.  This is an art for quick-thinking individuals and authors.)

Back in the day, when my regional sales manager would call to get my sales numbers, and I didn’t want to admit to a bad week, I would answer, “No speak Engrish!”  Not surprisingly, he quickly figured out what that meant anyway…

By now, I hope you understand the importance of honoring your inspirations/impulses.  As you hold a vibration of doing what feels good, so you are creating a manifestation of the things you want that feel good.  So what can be gained from following your desire to say no or to not answer?

1) Clarity.  For you, because you have evaluated and made your decision and do not have to make it palatable to anyone else.  For the other person/people involved, because without your input they must rely on their own knowledge and feelings to make the decision about the next step, therefore you afford them the opportunity to achieve clarity for themselves.  Keep in mind that not everyone appreciates this opportunity, because few people are accustomed to it, or to owning their own power.  That, however, is their business and none of yours.

2) Power.  Anytime you are true to yourself and feel satisfied, you are taking back your power, because your thoughts and feelings  are the only things that are truly, completely yours to control.  When you allow “shoulds” to rule you, you are allowing the tapes in your head to have your power, and it does not feel good.  Even if you might choose that action/thought of your own free will, it must be chosen for your own reasons, not simply because it is expected by some outside authority for you to be considered as “good enough”.

Remember: 

Selfish is what you are called when you are not doing what someone else wants you to.

Other People’s “Stuff”

I had a dream recently in which I was watching one of my children writhing in pain and my “teacher” was explaining that despite what this looked like and my desire to ease her, if I could refrain from taking away her pain, she had the opportunity to discover a way to do it herself and possibly expand the techniques available to all of us.   “She has chosen this, do not curtail her creativity”, I was told.

Unusually for me, I remembered this dream after I woke up, and it was all too clear what it pertained to.  I am the MOM, I know all the Answers and it has always been my job to ‘make it better’.  Until, of course, my children became adults who have progressively made it clear that I don’t have all the answers for their lives and would I kindly learn how to be supportive instead of in charge.  The nice part about this lesson is that it is also applicable to everyone else I know, or might come to know, or even ones I don’t know, but who co-exist on this planet with me.

To make the lesson easier to relate to, let’s pretend that that other person is untangling a big knot in a rope.  It is challenging, frustrating, sometimes to the point of setting it aside for awhile, but when it is done it is an accomplishment to be proud of, and has shown them, perhaps, some of the rules governing the fine art of untangling.   If I insist that they hand it over because I am really good at untangling ropes, what have they gained?   Some free time?, a sense of impotence?, another occasion when they failed to be ‘good enough’?

I am available as a resource when they want my advice or skills.  Asking for help is also a skill one must learn sometime.  If I can trust that this person has the skills, or the right to learn the skills needed to overcome this situation, I might be delighted to find there are ways of untangling ropes that I didn’t know, perhaps no one ever used before!

I saw a church marquee that said, “Children need more models than critics”, which is true and good.  That still leaves me wondering how to be supportive rather than just detached.   So I think back to the times in my life when a friend gave me just what I needed.  I find that what worked best was when they said something like, “Yeah, that’s hard.  I take comfort knowing this is just the sort of thing you’re good at.  You always work it out and I am always impressed by how you do it.”  They gave me a vote of confidence that didn’t sound like a platitude, because they meant it.

I am better prepared now to see the ways in which my children, or others, are perfectly suited to solve the riddles their lives pose them, because, after all, they set themselves up for it by making the choices that got them there in the first place!  As I have in my life also.  It’s just a knot in the rope, and I can’t wait to see how they untangle it…

“Manifestation”

Several years ago, watching the birds and their fledglings, it struck me that I had never seen a baby crow. Considering the number of crows about, it seemed unlikely never to have seen a fledgling and I became intensely curious about it.  I really wanted to see a baby crow.

One day I saw the neighbor boy hitting what looked like a bundle of rags in the street with a stick.  When I  asked him what he was doing, he said, “It’s wing is broken, it can’t fly.”  I came closer and saw a crow, apparently unhurt, with startlingly blue eyes.  I realized the universe had answered my request to see a baby crow!

I picked it up with a towel and brought it to my backyard where it was nice and quiet.  Knowing that the parents would be watching, I just gave it some 5-Flower remedy and left it to recover.  Throughout the day, when I had reason to go out, I saw the baby in various spots throughout the yard. He had obviously been practicing his flying.

The next morning, when I chanced to look out the back window, there were half a dozen crows, perched along the railing of the deck!  It seemed the parent crows knew a good flying practice spot when it offered!  They were out there in diminishing numbers for the next few days, and I even had a short return visit the following summer.

Even though it’s been about 10 years since their last visit, I always make a point of offering salutations to the crows, as a thank you.

I understood at the time that the universe had manifested my desire, but just today did I understand a few other aspects of it.

The highest good:  I got my curiosity satisfied. A baby crow was protected from the attentions of a child with some propensity to violence.   Said child was spared the temptation to harm the crow, which may have resulted in parental disapproval (possibly violent?) on the part of humans and crows,  as well as having it on his conscience down the line.

I demonstrated to myself the power of deliberate creation as Abraham describes it:  you have a desire which you think about and imagine about and feel good about.  Then you let it go completely!  I certainly didn’t check my watch, wondering where my stuff was.  I just daydreamed about the subject every so often and then went on with my day.

THAT was effortless.  Won’t it be fun when its all that easy?

Clarity and Intention

Some months ago, Venus was conjuncting or passing through my chart in some fashion and the astrologer suggested making a wish because that was a good time for it to come to pass.  At the bottom of the page, he said, “If you can’t think what to wish for then ask for the clarity to know what you want.”

This is genius, and practical to boot.  It speaks to the fact that we often don’t know what we want (specifically), or where to go from here, but there is still a thing to do: ask for it to become clear.  Set an intention.   What is an intention?  According to the dictionary, it is  “An aim that guides action; an objective”.   We are complex creatures who sometimes have complex agendas, and we may need to untangle some of the threads in order to compare and prioritize them, but a good first question is,  “How do I want to feel?”

I’ve spent a lot of the last few weeks in a strange place, emotionally.  I wanted to do something, but I wasn’t sure what exactly, and all the ideas I tried on didn’t feel quite right.  Towards the end, I was bored and physically restless.  Then, a few days ago,  when I felt I couldn’t stand it anymore I decreed, “I want to feel sure!  I want to know what to do and when to do it!  I want to be absolutely clear and I want it now!  And I want it to be easy!”  Hey, when the universe is listening, make it good…

Since then, I have begun to make sense out of the past few weeks (focusing on being bored attracted more boredom to me until I recognized/got clarity that I didn’t want to be bored!).   I followed my desires as they arose yesterday and today and found several new adventures (people , thoughts and experiences).  End of boredom.

Perhaps you don’t need to know the right answers, sometimes it’s good enough to know the right questions.  “How do I want to feel?” is a very good question to start with.

Paradoxical Fun

Sometimes, when you are working on reorienting your thoughts to better-feeling ones, you hit a moment when you just can’t summon the energy/desire/motivation to “do the work”.  The first time I remember hitting this “roadblock”,  was when I was really angry about something.  It seemed, however, that whenever I tried to find a different thought, my mind went all fuzzy and there was nothing else to turn to.  I was vibrationally unavailable to any better-feeling thought.  Eventually, I gave myself up to the anger and just went with it, and when it was spent I discovered that now I felt like pivoting my thoughts.

My experience with feeling low wasn’t exactly like this, in that it didn’t blow itself out.  Instead I kept saying to myself, “This is where I am, right now and it is fine.  I accept  this, I accept exactly who I am right now, and I look forward to feeling better.”  I was surprised, actually, to find out that while I wasn’t exactly enjoying these times, they had their up side. Being angry felt powerful and a release, and provided I didn’t share it in a hurtful way with those around me, harmless.  Being bored and unproductive, while uncomfortable by being unfamiliar, had a restful aspect.

So sometimes I just wanted to be angry, sometimes I just wanted to feel sorry for myself, sometimes I just wanted to cry, etc.  Because I found some strange, non-traditional enjoyment from it, I decided to call it “paradoxical fun”.  And ever since I discovered this perspective, I’ve been able to analyze it and see how it works in a LoA paradigm.

To begin with, allowing myself to feel what I feel sends a great big “I accept and approve of myself” message to my subconscious.  I love myself warts and all, just as my Source does. That is being in alignment.

Secondly, being willing to accept even the “ugly” parts of myself, the ones that my tapes have decreed as unacceptable has allowed me to stop holding judgements against myself and see them all as just experiences.  It also means that I have no dark side to hide from.  I don’t have to fear that “you won’t like me if you really knew me” syndrome that many of us secretly fear is true.  If I can like even my dark bits, then I will be a vibrational match to people who also can.  In any event, I’ll like myself. :)  This is also being in alignment.

Thirdly, I no longer feel threatened by being stuck in an unpleasant emotion/experience.  Knowing that I can change it whenever I am ready to allows me the freedom to really experience it.  This is freedom, and also in alignment.

According to Abraham, if we hadn’t wanted to experience trials and travails we would not have incarnated.  They say that we came here for the fun of getting out of alignment in order to find our way back into alignment.  I expect that that is what I am calling “paradoxical fun”.

Now I have another wish for people, apart from “Have fun!”.  I can wish them “Have paradoxical fun!”, although I might do it in my head until I’m sure they are ready to hear it out loud…